Limited 2.

Oh my poor neglected readers, how I've missed you so. I don't have any updates on my laptop charger so please bare with me popping out posts randomly for now. I have like 3 drafts on other blog topics  like going to protests, cosplay controversies, and those darn con reviews that don't seem to be happening....but yeah all that's going on in my drive but today I thought I'd just actually blog about how I'm doing instead. Hope I won't be a bore to you all!

Today was actually calm and relaxing (which is how I'm having time to write this) but as I was being very lazy I got into some pretty Carrie Bradshaw kind of thinking....

So if you couldn't figure out from my last post, I ended my "non-official-yet-pretty-intimate kind" of relationship recently and it's been a couple of weeks since the legitimate "break up". I feel pretty okay as of now. In efforts to try to speed up the recovery, I kind of hopped to mingling with guys not too long after. No luck yet but I'm kind of finding a pattern in both my past and current interactions with guys and I feel like I have this weird sign on my forehead or something that says I can only be a...

(Like how I'm in space?!?!?! HAHAHA I'm sorry I forgot how fun this editor is...anyways..)

But yeah I dunno if anyone out there is having this issue or if it's a gender thing or a generation thing but a lot of guys I'm interested in either see me as this girl they wanna only want to sleep with or this girl they want to only be buddies with. It's weird because I use to just only get put into the friendzone; I was practically queen of the place. One of my male best friends even had to explain to me that some girls just give off different vibes when you meet them and that I've always just had a "friend vibe". As I grew older with that in mind and tried to experiment with my image whole I started going out more and becoming more independent, I began experience a lot more of guys wanting to only have constant sex with me. Now, I'm not talking about the cliche guy from the bar hitting on you all night for a one night stand scenario, I'm talking about guys actually getting to know me by talking for weeks and we'd go through that crush phase then all of a sudden they'd just only talk about sex with me. Is this normal now? Am I the weird one? 

So I thought about it for awhile.What was I doing that gave these signals saying "I'm not the girlfriend type"?And I realized... is it because I'm comfortable talking about sex? Now I'm not the kind of girl that brags about her dirty history to everyone but I'm not afraid to talk about the subject openly either. Why should I be? For the record, this isn't the only thing I talk about when talking to anyone. I talk about food and geeky shit and tell stories but it's just once we get on this subject it either goes to one or the other of these directions. Girls have sex and, surprise, enjoy it and crave it too....a lot. Just as much as society assumes men do sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that. Just because a girl can talk about sex without feeling ashamed about it, doesn't mean she's a nymphomaniac without any standards. Ladies, please don't be embarrassed of your sexuality and please don't ever be embarrassed if you choose to practice abstinence either. Sex is something sacred but it's okay to express your thoughts and opinions on it naturally as well.

But maybe that's not even the case for anyone or me. It was really the only connection I could make. What do I do if that was the case anyway? Stop talking about it? Just accept my fate as being a friend with or without benefits? I actually really don't have a solution this time..I think it's all just a part of this strange time of self discovery in life right now. Maybe you all can a better scope about me than I do? Share opinions or experiences and comment below! Or if you happen to kneel what Sex in the City episode this is similar to, lemme know! 

Thanks for reading & staying your amazing selves! 

Does Anyone Remember Shawn and Angela?

Hiii guysss! Sorry for such a long delay on the blog post, a lot has been going on in my life. Cons, work, and just drama everywhere it seems; not only that but I also seem to have lost the charger for my laptop. Everything SUCKS! Haha, just kidding, we’ll all float on eh. I have a lot of ideas to come. Definitely some reviews of my cons but for now I’m watching one of my favorited TV series in my whole life and I couldn't be more inspired. Shout out to all 90s kids, Boy Meets World is what really prepared me for life. This 7-year running sitcom was basically about the life of the our lovable hero, Cory Matthews, as he encounters the everyday struggles of school, family, girls, and just life in general. There’s no real plot twist for this oldie; no magical powers or unique, unaverage setting but I think that’s what made the show brilliant. It had the great plot twist of the normal, nice guy finally finishing first.

Now the main pairing of this series is Cory and his true love, Topanga. A lot of the show is about how these two met each other in kindergarten and became soul mates who conquer every obstacle that their love is thrown into. As admirable and inspirational as Cory and Topanga’s prevailing love was, I feel like we all focused on them too much and completely undermined a  more relatable couple: Shawn and Angela. Shawn is Cory’s best friend who couldn't be any more opposite to him. He was lost soul who grew up in a trailer park and had a playboy reputation. During their high school seasons, Shawn dated a strong minded, social yet distant girl named Angela who he grew more in love with throughout the series and she as well. This is one of the most underrated couples in all of the memorable 90s shippings of all nostalgic land.

I may be biased because I feel a bit closer to this OTP than Cory and Topanga but as I’ve talked to many classmates, friends, and co-workers I’m finding that there are so many people in this situation nowadays. Shawn and Angela were in love, soulmates even; however, they hardly are actually in an official relationship throughout the show. They were both afraid of love. Aren’t we all?  the thought of hurting one another or being hurt by the other is a very terrifying idea.

Now I’m pretty sure everyone goes through something like this. A phase with someone where you and he/she are together but not together. You feel like your bond is stronger than anyone you know but none of you will admit you care more than “just a friend”. I definitely know that feel, bro.

It’s no one’s fault in these kind of situations (even if one of you fits the definitions of an asshole more). It’s just a matter of someone or both not knowing what you want so you either want to have everything or you don’t fully want anything. There’s plenty of time to figure out what you want, but I think the thing people need to realize is that people get hurt when they’re involved in your search for what you want. They may think they’re not good enough or they might think they’re only good enough for this kind of relationship or some kind of other pessimistic bullshit about themselves and the world & that bullshit you’re head makes up just simply isn’t true.

Near the end of the series, Shawn and Angela actually do end up together but Angela decides to go to Africa with her father while Shawn stays behind although he wanted to marry her and keep her with him. After that we never really hear from them again but most assume they get married when she returns. This ending is genius because it shows that every kind of this romance is different, some end up together and some don’t. Although whether it does or not, it shows that both should be able to be okay without each other. Happiness should not have to be dependent on someone else, you should be able to find it within yourself first then if you happen to find someone to share it then that’s cool too.

I hope this post helped you out somehow. It definitely made me realize I should be taking my own advice more, haha!