Finders, Keepers, Losers, Weepers.

Hello everyone. I'm writing this one on the way back from my trip up to Merced in a train and trying not to die from motion sickness as I do. I love you all so much though I know I just need to post something up for the week!

Traveling is so fun and this was just what I needed I think after one draining, exhausting week. Not only did I work consecutively for a week straight until this past Friday, but a lot of people I kept close to my heart had to shove in my face that they don't want to be a part of my life anymore. I know they say people come and go in your life but I genuinely was expecting these certain friendships to actually last forever. They all left for their own different reasons but it all still hurt very deeply. The ironic part of it all is that many of other close family and friends have told me to detach myself from these people many times before too. I stayed regardless because I just never believed in walking out of people's lives when you love them especially when they need you the most.


(Talk shit all you want on Miley, I'm indifferent to her but you know this line got you...anyways...)

I'm still trying to let go of everything but it's a very difficult process where only time can tell when you're better. I mean I always believed that when there is love, you do not give up and that goes for any kind of relationship even these friendships. We have to understand though that love is need to happen from two people in order to work.

Although these people and I have a lot of good memories together it is time to move on. The great, Bob Marley once said, "everyone is going to hurt you, you just have to figure out who is worth suffering for".
It's all a learning process really. You see, we're human. Our actions cause pain sometimes, whether it's unintentional or not. Pain is what helps up become better people though. How do you expect to grow if you don't go through struggle first? I think I realized with these relationships, we weren't helping each other...I mean I thought we were and I tried I would like to say but we really weren't. We were just people hurting each other.

What bothers me the most is that they walked out on me because I was causing them pain and I really didn't even know it. From my perspective, I feel like I woke up one day and couldn't find these people anymore. Well, one of them did tell me why and even though I can understand where they're coming from, it still feels all unfair in the end. You feel like whatever reason they have for leaving wouldn't compare to the lists of reasons you've held back on to leave them, yet you stayed. You understood that humans make mistakes and they can be forgiven as many times as you want. I just wish that mine would have been forgiven too on the same understanding that I'm flawed and there's more fucking up to  come in my life. It's important to remember, however, there are people who will put up with your imperfections, forgive you countlessly, and never give up on trying to help you grow. These people are keepers. They aren't perfect either but they sure as hell are the ones worth holding on to in your life. Then there are those people that treated you as an inconvenience in their life and left, they are losers. They lost you. My best friend Ally once told me that you have to remember that these people are losing something in their life when they left because you are fucking unique and amazing and there's no way they can replace someone like you in their lives and the same goes for you. Their time on your journey may be over for now and it's life or God or the Great Cosmic Owl or whatever you believe in taking out some of the things causing you pain so you can now push yourself to become a better person than you were before. This is all really important to remember because sometimes when people don't, they lose themselves and that's a hell that hard to break away from.

So please do not give up on yourself either! You have the power to let go of those who've done you dirty too and you can even be stronger by forgiving them. I know it's definitely harder than it sounds but it's not impossible. It's the best you can do for yourself too. You have so much to be proud of and so much potentional to find your happiness so keep chasing your dreams, be thankful for the people and things in your life, and work hard to inspire those losers and prove them wrong at the time. Be sad for a bit but don't stop having fun, and, of course, smile! Because you deserve to.

Let go, Be happy.

Here's a page from The Art of Letting Go to end this post. YAAH END READING WITH MORE READING. 

Does Anyone Remember Shawn and Angela?

Hiii guysss! Sorry for such a long delay on the blog post, a lot has been going on in my life. Cons, work, and just drama everywhere it seems; not only that but I also seem to have lost the charger for my laptop. Everything SUCKS! Haha, just kidding, we’ll all float on eh. I have a lot of ideas to come. Definitely some reviews of my cons but for now I’m watching one of my favorited TV series in my whole life and I couldn't be more inspired. Shout out to all 90s kids, Boy Meets World is what really prepared me for life. This 7-year running sitcom was basically about the life of the our lovable hero, Cory Matthews, as he encounters the everyday struggles of school, family, girls, and just life in general. There’s no real plot twist for this oldie; no magical powers or unique, unaverage setting but I think that’s what made the show brilliant. It had the great plot twist of the normal, nice guy finally finishing first.

Now the main pairing of this series is Cory and his true love, Topanga. A lot of the show is about how these two met each other in kindergarten and became soul mates who conquer every obstacle that their love is thrown into. As admirable and inspirational as Cory and Topanga’s prevailing love was, I feel like we all focused on them too much and completely undermined a  more relatable couple: Shawn and Angela. Shawn is Cory’s best friend who couldn't be any more opposite to him. He was lost soul who grew up in a trailer park and had a playboy reputation. During their high school seasons, Shawn dated a strong minded, social yet distant girl named Angela who he grew more in love with throughout the series and she as well. This is one of the most underrated couples in all of the memorable 90s shippings of all nostalgic land.

I may be biased because I feel a bit closer to this OTP than Cory and Topanga but as I’ve talked to many classmates, friends, and co-workers I’m finding that there are so many people in this situation nowadays. Shawn and Angela were in love, soulmates even; however, they hardly are actually in an official relationship throughout the show. They were both afraid of love. Aren’t we all?  the thought of hurting one another or being hurt by the other is a very terrifying idea.

Now I’m pretty sure everyone goes through something like this. A phase with someone where you and he/she are together but not together. You feel like your bond is stronger than anyone you know but none of you will admit you care more than “just a friend”. I definitely know that feel, bro.

It’s no one’s fault in these kind of situations (even if one of you fits the definitions of an asshole more). It’s just a matter of someone or both not knowing what you want so you either want to have everything or you don’t fully want anything. There’s plenty of time to figure out what you want, but I think the thing people need to realize is that people get hurt when they’re involved in your search for what you want. They may think they’re not good enough or they might think they’re only good enough for this kind of relationship or some kind of other pessimistic bullshit about themselves and the world & that bullshit you’re head makes up just simply isn’t true.

Near the end of the series, Shawn and Angela actually do end up together but Angela decides to go to Africa with her father while Shawn stays behind although he wanted to marry her and keep her with him. After that we never really hear from them again but most assume they get married when she returns. This ending is genius because it shows that every kind of this romance is different, some end up together and some don’t. Although whether it does or not, it shows that both should be able to be okay without each other. Happiness should not have to be dependent on someone else, you should be able to find it within yourself first then if you happen to find someone to share it then that’s cool too.

I hope this post helped you out somehow. It definitely made me realize I should be taking my own advice more, haha!